The Journey of Authentic Self Discovery

I am working through a reflective course that focuses on finding your authentic self. Seemed like a pretty straightforward task. I mean, I have submerged and re-emerged enough times to feel self-aware. Guess what? Asking myself that question was much harder than I thought it would be.

My initial response was pretty external: helping others, being supportive, and surrounding myself with strong, like-minded people who bring good energy. That sounds nice, doesn’t it? But wait—it turns out that was a lot less about me and more about other people.

So, I sat, thought, and felt for a bit. Like, who I actually am. Beneath the “guard” of making sure everything around me is positive and good (which does bring me joy), who am I—now, today?

Because as I’ve mentioned before, “that’s just not me anymore” has become a new mantra that’s helped me shed light on how life experiences have changed my perspectives and opinions.

What did I come up with?

It turns out, I’m still figuring that part out. But I did recognize that my best authentic self enjoys learning something—anything really—but not cooking (that doesn’t bring me joy, although I envy those who find it therapeutic). I enjoy peace, quiet, and adventure. I enjoy independence and relationships.

My authentic self, in reality, is a bit confused, a bit unsure. I’ve come to see that my lived experience—starting from childhood—has cultivated a lot of questions about who I actually am. I needed to show up in specific ways to stay safe. That survival mode became my behavior, and eventually, part of my character. It became who I thought I was.

But now, I wonder if the truest, most authentic version of me is someone I haven’t even met yet. And I know I’m going to like her.

And this is exactly what authentic self discovery is all about.

When we begin to untangle who we are from who we had to be, we create space for healing, self-compassion, and clarity. Authentic self discovery isn’t a one-time revelation—it’s a process. One that often starts when we realize that parts of us were shaped by attachment, survival, or the need to keep peace.

As a Life Experience Coach rooted in attachment theory, I support individuals on this exact journey. We explore how early dynamics shaped your roles, your beliefs, and even your sense of identity. And we begin the work of gently, bravely reclaiming what’s true for you.

If you're ready for deeper clarity and lasting change through authentic self discovery, I’d love to guide you.